After my biopsy results which were good not great but good I should be happy… ..But im feeling a rain cloud over my head… yes of course I'm pleased but my internal dialogue is saying things like… Ticking time bombby the time we know it will be too late*just remove the whole flap (huge operation… Continue reading Why I will never be truly happy.
Tag: scared
What does this mean? I Cannot Go There…Not Again
My yearly cancer check-up was this Sunday, it was an overflow clinic hence the weekend. I saw Mr Fasemade who’s the boss man – i.e the new Mr Moss. SOOO, where do I start, I have been aware of a white patch on my tongue for a while, it’s not sore or gross looking. It's… Continue reading What does this mean? I Cannot Go There…Not Again
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Recovery? (arm pic but not as gross anymore)
I haven't blogged for ever and I keep getting asked if I am ok as I haven't blogged - I am ok - in my own way ! I thought I would start with a quick run down of whats been going on I am seeing Mr Moss 4 weekly and at that appointment I… Continue reading Recovery? (arm pic but not as gross anymore)
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As weak as a kitten…
Well friday, after seeing the palliative care doctor (not end if life, but symptom control), who added as drug to my syringe driver and gave me the ok to go home. This is Sarah the Dr I saw and she was THE kindest doctor, she was amazing and I even loved her dress (it was from… Continue reading As weak as a kitten…
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HALF WAY……
Who would have thought it - i certainly didn't - its seemed forever away in the beginning... but I'm there - although i cannot take all the credit - i have had a lot of help. I did have some bad news this week thou, friday i has the speech and language therapist (SALT) show up ... she asked how… Continue reading HALF WAY……
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So … I cried
I can honestly say I have only cried a handful of times since diagnosis and that includes when i was told and even after surgery ... see i don't like crying, i worry i wont stop or i will loose control. but tonight i am in a lot of pain, my back isn't liking the bed that i lay on for… Continue reading So … I cried
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And repeat…..
Same view same staff same faces, except the newbys who hold their diagnosis letter and their schedule of treatments as if its proof they should be here... its obvious many are panicing possibly imagining big cancer fighting lazer beams whereas its a big polo with beeps and clicks.. you want feel it... or see it....… Continue reading And repeat…..
