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The expert patient


I think I’ve written about this previously,  but my GP actually called me this the other day. I was at the doctors, as I am almost weekly at the moment and my Doctor who I respect massively said “well it’s easier when you have an *expert patient*” now, I know why he said this but I can’t help feeling like I’m a nuisance to them, I hate the fact that the doctors and support staff recognise me and say hi Stephanie when I go in, the logical part of my brain knows that they are just being polite but the anxious overthinking part my brain feels as though they are fed up of seeing me, these feelings were made worse in the last couple of weeks let me fill you in.

So on the 3rd of January my peg tube fell out due to the balloon springing a leak. I went to Stoke Mandeville Hospital as I’m supposed to and had to get a new tube inserted. This time there was a problem the hole had started to close so I needed to have a RIG placed

**A radiologically Inserted gastrostomy is a technique whereby a narrow plastic tube is placed through the skin, directly into your stomach. Once in place the tube can be used to give you liquid feed directly into your stomach, to provide nutrition.**

 

As soon as I came round from the procedure I knew something wasn’t right I had pain unlike anything I’ve had before which turned out to be free fluid and air in the abdomen which of course got infected I ended up staying in hospital for almost 3 weeks. Even once home I felt that something wasn’t right and i was having temperatures and abdominal pain (upper left) .  I’ve been back and forth to the doctors for various antibiotics, which seemed to work for a while but then the pain and infection would rear its ugly head again. I’ve been back and forth to the hospital and we couldn’t find out what was going on, and why I wasn’t getting better!

On the 24th Feb I went in with massive temperatures which we couldn’t control at home. I was kept in for 24 hours for IV antibiotics and they also checked the placement of the Peg which was fine (as I had told them it was). On this admission something went wrong! As I was signing in at the reception of accident and emergency at Stoke Mandeville Hospital,  the woman behind the desk could not understand my surname and kept writing it wrong telling me I wasn’t on the computer,  so I wrote it down in capital letters clearly. She still got it wrong! which I simply cant understand (its not like it was rammed). it might not seem that important but it meant that the blood test results and the swabs that were taken were under a different name, and therefore were not checked.  This proved to be a real problem as they showed I had a extremely serious infection which needed treatment. I continued struggling on trying to convince myself this pain was in my head and that I should just man up.

So this week I had to see the duty doctor (GP) as the second or third (lost count) lot of antibiotics had stopped working and the pain was increasing AGAIN, she wanted to get me admitted but I begged to stay home, she agreed on the condition that I see my regular doc after the weekend (cue crazy voice thinking/saying things like *back again!* and I felt rather anxious) but I did agree to come and see Dr P.

Well Dr P took one look at me and knew I wasn’t good, he wanted me seen at the hospital so off I went.

The docs and nurses had 8 attempts at getting blood and after each failure they called a more senior person.  I was in the waiting room for 13 hours in total! 13!

Whilst there Dr P called and said you need to go and tell your doctor your swab results are back it’s MRSA! (in my peg stoma site infection centred on stomach wall its thought) Bloody marvellous that’s just what I wanted to hear!  

The problem was these results were under the misspelt name so didn’t show up on my arrival!

So I tell the doctor and things finally start happening, I’m told that I will need a  PICC line and I will need very strong antibiotics at which point I told them I was not staying hospital. There are several reason for this, the first being the children, it upsetting for them and disruptive and of course I miss them  on a more practical level we would need before and after school club to cover hubby’s working hours and we simply cannot afford this. Thankfully with the persuasive powers of a specialist nurse “L” they agreed to let me go in for IV antibiotics and come home in-between doses. this is obviously needed but if I am being 100% honest I’ve simply had enough! this isn’t normal I can’t help but to ask why? why is all this happening to me? of course I put on a front and pretend that I am fine with all this, but it underneath I’m not fine I’m struggling mentally and physically and practically. What I want is someone to come and scoop me up take control and deal with all my s*** because I feel like I want to run away, but that’s not gonna happen. I now have 2 medical devices “in” my body – my feeding tube and a PICC line, I know the PICC wont be there forever but its just another thing to make me feel ugly. I wish that I just got colds or sore throats but NO I get pneumonias and MRSA. Its exhausting and I genuinely feel alone in this – making friends is hard especially when you are as unreliable as me – not through choice – some days I’m just so tired that if I don’t have a nap I could fall asleep at the wheel on school run (not that I would drive if I felt that tired).

I’m going to come back to this tomorrow but for now it mega late and I need to be asleep

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Jan 2017

Mummy blog – because what ever I go through so do they


well as title says really? and I know its not just the kids it G as well.

When I’m in hospital or unwell it effects the whole house which is one of the many reason I hate being in hospital, I can see the effect it is having and yet am powerless to help. There is the emotional side the practical side and the financial side (drinks snacks and dreaded parking/petrol etc.)

D is now 5 but is very much a mummy’s girl at heart although she wraps daddy round her little finger!  and gets away with murder when he’s on duty lol and K is 11, which is a funny age as he’s entering puberty so has all these emotions and has no idea how to handle them – (although now I’ve typed that it sounds like something someone would use to describe all men lol).

We have found that the kids find quick visits easier to deal with, so we manufacture scenarios where they will pop and see mum on the way to, or from X.  This means they don’t get bored and or upset and its nice and upbeat and they can perhaps come twice in a day even if for only 20 minutes at a time set up . Also with D being so active she simply can’t stay still enough and for some reason she is ALWAYS hot in hospitals (perhaps a bit stressed) and a 5 when your hot you take clothes off, which obviously isn’t ideal lol ! !!

K on the other hand goes really quite and doesn’t really know how to handle it as he wants to help but knows he’s out of his depth. Oh that reminds me we were referred to a young carers group and we had a meeting with someone before Christmas and he’s been accepted and this will give him a great place to meet like minded kids who understand what its like to have a mum with additional needs or disability’s or illness’s, they have a youth club and activities. also we have signed him up for scouts – and as long as we can sort out some transport home for him that should be great too (its at the same time as my college course so I will have the car)

That reminds me I taught the kids to sign a song for Christmas and they performed it for Christmas assembly at school and here is a little video if Daisy practicing before the event and here’s a picture of us after we did it with our Head Teachers award stickers

daisykieran-and-mummy

I am so proud of my children – Christ they aren’t perfect but neither am I and who wans robots – they are kind and caring and are fantastic to be around and regardless of my tubes scars and all that goes with it they love me and support me in their own way.

one last thing I wanted to share was this really cool mummy cheat – you know what its like naming and labelling kids school uniform its a bloody nightmare right? WRONG !!!! I have found a company who not only deliver super super quick but they also have they best products

these name tags are amazing you can attach them to everything from shoes to swim towels and school bags even inside uniform and they wash and wash and wash, then there’s the name stickers and again theses wash and wash and wash – D actually outgrew something before the sticker faded !! They also have a ink stamp so you can just stamp your child’s name on their uniform – no sewing or ironing on labels (they never stayed on anyways. I think these are so so good and as a mum who has to think about what energy I have and how to use it on bad days using a stamp rather than having to fiddle and sew etc. is perfect – its literally the perfect product (no I haven’t been paid to say this !) oh and I even use the stamp on husbands uniform as its just a surname !

Here is a link to the website and Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/nametags4u/ and https://www.nametags4u.co.uk/

Anyways its nearly midnight so I will schedule thus to post in the morning and I will update about my MaxFax appointment tomorrow xx

lots of love and thank you to those who follow