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Burger and chips with lashings of ketchup


So since my last post ive had my birthday, Im 31 it was a very anti climatic birthday. As this time last year I had a numb tongue and had no idea what was to about to happen,  then later in the year I truely wondered if I would have another birthday or if i would see one of my childrens. I felt in some way there should have been a fan fair “yayyy your alive” but I guess its not the done thing.

For my birthday G got me a galexy tab3 which im currently using by the way, hes really been great through all of this, making allowances for my tiredness, helping  me with my meds and feeds. Who knew our marriage would go through so much, him being my carer *again* (im refering to my pelvic surgery and all the problems), 9 house moves, 2 kids and 2 dogs.

Ive been trying to eat more not quite burger and chips with lashings of ketchup but I did manage to swallow the tinyist bit of a chip, yes it was aided by a swig of water. I tried to have some pasta bolognese, I spent a good ten minutes cutting up the pasta ready to eat, I had taken my pain killers in advance.  I managed probably a table spoon of food, or so I thought it turned out half was in the roof of my mouth and the rest was just a little down my throat. The end result wasnt pretty, and left me feeling really low, wondering why bother.  Its very hard seeing food you used to love, taste them and they are horrible or actually cause pain. I could really do with some help swallowing from speech and language, but it appears in on the list. 

I have my sewing mojo back and have discovered something called crazy quilts, and have started to make a quilt  I will share a few pics on my Facebook page.

Oooh I havent update on the torture tool aka the therabite, its gone to pot as my jaw pain had been bloody horrible it seems to be going up into my ear, its enough to stop me in my tracks.

Friday im off to see Mr Moss with no major panics or worries … maybe that means something

Still smiling and doing good

Before I go does anyone want to go to http://www.sewingshow.co.uk with me…..?

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Diagnosed with tongue cancer!


Im not sure where to start so i guess i will start with the begining of this year !!!

On the 4th Jan 2013 I recall having a huge headache so bad i put D down for her nap early and had a lie down! I thought i was a migraine which was strange as i havent had one of those in years – but hey nothing to worry about ??

The next day was my birthday and whilst i felt shocking my head still banging and now half, exactly half of my tounge was numb i just plodded on, by the sunday i knew i had to see a doc and it had to be that day, so off i went to the out of hours service in peterborough and was rather suprised to be seen straight away, but just thought it was a bit of a bonus.

I was in there for what felt like ages and she said i think you have had a TIA .. a mini stroke and ordered me to go to PCH (teh local hospital ) I dont think they realised i was driving but anyways i drove there not realising how seriously they were taking things, well not until i was met at the door of AnE by a lady who introduced herself as the “specialist stoke nurse” bloody billiant i thought !! but i also though TWITS  im far too young and i have so much go wrong with my body so far it wont be that or anything serious (doh)

While there i phoned my parents and asked that they come up (25 mins away) as i needed someone to keep an eye on the children while i had scans etc and i didnt want to phone hubby who was on guard duty — they came but called hubby !! I was less than impressed – I mean of course i was going to call him but I didnt want him unnecessarily worried and rushign away from work when my parents in theory could just help out for a while. Well that was my logic ! Anyways they showed up got kids and were asked to leave by a doc as G arrived at around the same time ! (this pissed them off somewhat i think )

Anyways the scans were inconclusive and i was told it was probably a TIA and I was reffered to a nuro –

In the mean time i really struggled to eat and joked about being on the best diet ever !!! – i had lost over a stone in less than a month !! (although i can afford to loose another 3 before i will worry too mcuh) – also i kept biting my toung and i had a weird bump on my tounge which i thought was fom biting but i goggled it and google diagnosed tounge cancer 50% suvival rate!!! That was it i was convinced

I had the nuro appt on the 24th Jan – at that appt i told her i thing i have tounge cancer !! and that i am a smoker so deserve it but didnt want to die until my daughter was old enough to remember me !!

She refered me to the head and neck unit at PCH who i saw on the 5/2/13 i was told it was probably nothing just where i had bitten my tounge but the would biopsey !! which they did a few days later !!

I went in on the 13th for my results and knew it was VERY BAD when they insisted G come in with me, I had said no hes fine the kids are on one – they insisted !!!

“so you know we took teh biopsy? Well we have had the results and well you thought it was cancer and we have found cancer ”

my immediate reaction was “GET MY KIDS OUT OF HERE I DO NOT WANT THEM HEARING THIS”

THE NEXT 10 MINUTES WAS A BLUR i was given forms leaflets and told its like skin cancer but on the tounge and we wouldnt know more until we had more tests done …

THEN THE TWIST !!!!