On the edge

Living on the edge, walking the fine line between being okay and being petrified and convinced it’s back.

Last week I had a scare, I found a lump in the tip of my tongue, between my ‘new’ and old tongue.  I went to the GP straight away.  She looked at My tongue and said ‘yes I see it, it has irregular edges’. Well that was it, irregular edges screams cancer, she made an appointment for me with Mr Moss for the Friday (I think this happened on a Tuesday). I spent the week trying to keep busy but I wasn’t sleeping so was tired, grumpy and my back pain was bad too.

So Friday arrived and G drove me to my appointment in Peterborough.   We were late but so was Mr moss. He examined my mouth and felt my neck. He said he was not in the least bit worried and it was some fibrous tissue or lympodeama.  It was such a relief, but I left with very mixed feelings, I felt stupid for wasting his time, I felt angry at my whole situation, being one step away from fear, and obviously I was relieved that it wasn’t back.

I don’t think I posted about my last Mr Moss appointment.  It was extremely positive and we discussed getting my PEG removed which is something I never thought would happen.  Obviously I’m really happy about that and there are so many positives not least looking good naked. But again the other side of the coin is the what ifs,  will I manage my medication etc etc.

Food wise things are going well, look what I made for tea (my first time eating sweet potatoes ever)


It’s roasted sweet potato which I liked but the sweet potato mash I wasn’t keen on, then there was bread sauce and cauliflower.  I managed about half and was really pleased with that.

So still moving forward and getting better by the day.

Still smiling and who wouldn’t with this at home.


I hope that by writing this blog I can help others in similar situations take comfort in the fact that they are not alone. Please help me reach more people with my blog by sharing my posts on Twitter and Facebook. If you would like to follow my story, please sign up to the mailing list so that you can be notified as my blog is updated. Should you wish to get in touch please feel free to use the ‘Contact Me’ page to fill in your details and I will respond to you as soon I am able. Thank you, Stephanie x

2 thoughts on “On the edge”

  1. Hi sorry to hear about what your going through.
    I’m 29 mother of two young children similar to your self I had my op in January and lost 75% of my tongue.
    I no how you feel I’m for ever checking my mouth for lumps even get worried when I feel a ulcer coming it’s only normal. Hopefully things will get better in time.
    It’s really nice to see how up beat you are I think it’s great like my self we just have to accept and carry on. Take care xx


  2. Thought I’d check out your blog since you started following mine. I’m so sorry for what you had to experience, but so glad the cancer hasn’t come back. Never having experienced a life-threatening situation after age four (and at that time I was not aware of how serious it was I guess, it wasn’t cancer or anything chronic by the way), I cannot relate to living on the edge like you do. I cannot say I empathize with your fear but I do sympathize.


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