My life went on hold the day they said cancer and now people around me are talking about bloody Christmas !! honest to god I am at a loss – part of me just wants to punch them in the face (thankfuly, it’s not the impulsive do whatever I like part)

Yesterday I slept, after my high temp I just zonked out, but today I have stayed awake all day – for a few reasons – to prove I can and also I had, well have something on my mind, which will be for blogging another day.

I am having major problems with my phone atm its driving me mad – the power button is faulty so if the phone goes off I have 2 hours of fanny-ing around to get it to turn on – but with it being an galaxy note and my way of talking to the world via fb, my blog, and my “help I’ve had a fall” call bell – I do not want to send it away, here’s where I wish my blog had 7 million hits and one of my followers was the man who gives the okay to new phones lol, ahhhh we can wish can’t we.

Talking oh luck – Euro millions tickets purchased, and fingers tightly crossed.

I had a visit from my Health visitor today – I don’t know if I have mentioned her before, shes amazing soooooo very well spoken, but so so caring above and beyond – and I feel I can really open up to her hence half and hour in tears.
See I’m in this limbo land at the moment I’m not having treatment, but im not better, I feel shocking but there’s not tangible reason. And the extreme exhaustion is a killer – 1pm till 4am being an example of my extreme napping. I don’t have the energy to shower some days – eating a bowl of ice cream (a table spoon or two)can feel like an impossible task. Although some days are slightly better. I’m feeling very low – I’m missing “life”, I see the nurse every day and tomorrow 2 different nurses one of which being my Macmillan nurse (I predict tears again). I wish I know when all this would end – I was looking for college courses again today – I daren’t apply – both because of cost atm but also what if I am not well enough…. Argggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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