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It seems like ages since I have updates – I actually think its 4 days which I guess in blog terns is quite a lot. Truth be told I have mostly slept since my last blog.

I mean that literally all I seem to do is sleep, one day I went for a nap at 1am and woke up at 4am .. talk about sleeping your life away…

So the syringe driver that I went home with si working well I haven’t been sick once (touches wood), I developed a lovely allergy to the dressings

, but thankjfully the district nurses had various ones to try. The district nurses have been amazing – I have known some of them since October with my bback so its lovley to see them, yjeu klnow the kids they know the dogs and most importantly they know me and know I look when I am ok. They currently come out every day and refill my syringe driver and whilst they are there every other day they change the dressings on my arm, which incidently is looking fanbloodytastic its amazing here is a pic…

image

I had the doc round the other day, my GP to see how I was and stuff – the mutual decision was made to start happy pills as I have emotionally been struggling, so rather than having them for depression per say, its situational at the moment. But who knows – I do have a history of depression, from regular depression to post natal. We are just waiting for the medication in liquid form so it can go down the peg.

Talking of the PEG im still 99.9% reliant on the peg now – I am trying things – the other day I tried a cuppa soup I managed a few tea spoons of that and a tiny bit of mega soggy bread ! and I have had ice cream a table spoon at a time. I am getting in creasingly frustrated wit this – I have time that my swallow just doesn’t work – the mechanism just doest work – I have time where I choke and tiem where the pain is simply too much… and that’s all just with water. I try to taste food from g’s plate and its like I have forgotten what to do with it. But its not likr I can taste it anyways….

I have found myself making goals for the future some of which may sound small or pointless but for me atm they seem huge

MY GOALS

• Eat Christmas Dinner

• Go On Holiday 2014 (pennies permitting)

• Not be afraid of eating to drinking in front of people

• Not be so self-conscious of my facial/ mouth problems

• Make my sewing our second income rather than a hobby ..

• Be a stronger person

Now its time to go back to bed –

still smiling xx

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