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My moan


So i had my double today and have major swelling inside and out and my skin is sore , its just majorly tender. The swelling on the inside makes it feel like my teeth are pushing against the inside of my mouth.

All i want to do is cry… but if i do i wont stop

Heres what im looking like..

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Bad side yoi can see swelling n redness although not very clearly

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For comparison        ……………..

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And a frong voew shpwong swelling… i look like a chipmunk

On with my rant

Im angry with some people who i would expect to have seen more of but havent, im fucked off that i have soddin cancer and have to go thru this horrid treatment. Im constantly worrying im putting too much on g, hes like a single parent. I wish i could just go n stay with aunty b give him a break from me. Im exhausted… its not just tired its like that machine each time zaps some energy.

And while im on a rant… if one more person says in a suprised voice ‘you look well ‘ i will not be responsible for my reply….. if you mean ‘i was expecting you to look shit’ say it or my fave and ive caught a few out with is one… if you mean.. ‘wow your thinner that makes u look better’ SAY IT  its not lile its untrue is it….. i say what i think… other than to avoid a world war…

Oh and while im here a week today more arm surgery….

I guesz this is mt biweekly woe is me post

Sporting a fake…. .’im fine thanks’ smile

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6 thoughts on “My moan”

  1. Ah huni – sending you big hugs. I had secondary breast cancer and went through exactly the same emotions. Most of the time I was positive but some days was an emotional angry wreck. Even told my hubbie to leave me. Im here to talk if u need to bend someones ear xx

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  2. Hey Hun, well, you’re rocking that ‘I got punched in the face’ look! I think I looked like that when I had my wisdom teeth out – D kept asking me to say stuff so I could sound like Sammity Sam!! 😛
    Cut the crap on the ‘single parent’ idea. Who was a single parent each time he is sent off somewhere?? For 4 – 6 months at a time??? This is him repaying the favour 😀 !! If you really want him to experience it properly, don’t give him any hints or tips at all, and make him send you a pink letter every day!! You can’t do his worrying as well as your own – you’ll wear yourself out! I’m assuming he’s doing a good job as I haven’t seen any notices offering any children for sale yet 🙂
    People are trying to say, ‘you look well considering the fact that you have cancer, are going through a god awful trauma and have been dragged through hell and back, how are you managing to keep it all together?’ but they don’t know how to, so they abbreviate it to ‘you look well’ And let’s face it – they are soooo jealous of the weight loss, they just don’t want to say it cos there are better ways of doing it – I mean, next time, join Weight Watchers or something!!
    We love you, I wish there was a way I could take some of this on for you, but I can’t. I hope I can cheer you up a bit every now and then. You are allowed to moan – and more than twice a week if you need to!! That is one thing we can do for you, and that is listen, lend an ear, and try and help by being your sounding board.
    Phone, call, email me – anything you need. I’ll prop up your smile tonight xxx

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  3. massive gentle hugs.
    g loves you and I’m sure he totally understand that you’d love to do more but can’t. and I’m sure there’s been times where he’s been unavailable cos of work and you’ve had to be parent 24/7. it’s swings n roundabouts and I’m positive it’ll not be long til your back being the boss. xxx

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