So i had my double today and have major swelling inside and out and my skin is sore , its just majorly tender. The swelling on the inside makes it feel like my teeth are pushing against the inside of my mouth.

All i want to do is cry… but if i do i wont stop

Heres what im looking like..


Bad side yoi can see swelling n redness although not very clearly


For comparison        ……………..


And a frong voew shpwong swelling… i look like a chipmunk

On with my rant

Im angry with some people who i would expect to have seen more of but havent, im fucked off that i have soddin cancer and have to go thru this horrid treatment. Im constantly worrying im putting too much on g, hes like a single parent. I wish i could just go n stay with aunty b give him a break from me. Im exhausted… its not just tired its like that machine each time zaps some energy.

And while im on a rant… if one more person says in a suprised voice ‘you look well ‘ i will not be responsible for my reply….. if you mean ‘i was expecting you to look shit’ say it or my fave and ive caught a few out with is one… if you mean.. ‘wow your thinner that makes u look better’ SAY IT  its not lile its untrue is it….. i say what i think… other than to avoid a world war…

Oh and while im here a week today more arm surgery….

I guesz this is mt biweekly woe is me post

Sporting a fake…. .’im fine thanks’ smile