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Tutu or or not tutu…… Well for me it was tutu, I’m on one with crafts, I think subconsciously I’m doing it so I am busy, so I don’t have to think.. And I’m not sure if that is healthy or not, but hey.  I’m gonna have to sell some bits, just to cover costs lol ….

This is, my last few weeks.

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And loads more… It’s like u can’t stop…..

I’m enjoying doing new things but worry terribly about people liking things, I think I’m struggling a but with anxiety, for example u walked into the school play ground, g dropped me off close n went to park car and I was so nervous, eyes darting left n right, feeling red hit it was horrid, once I was in car u was fine but it wasn’t fun. i have never liked walking into a crowded room but this is a new one – i am thinking i have a lot on and perhaps i am just generally more tnese and becaise of my speech, drop and scar i was nervous – tbh i dont know why most pple have read it one her lol ! and seen it.

 

 

 

So yesterday the nurse came to do my dressing – we were doen to twice a week and next week we planned to take the dressing offf coz it was doing so well … my arse !!! we opened it and found this…
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the circilar bit is about 5mm tall and is ozing gunk (yummahhh ) so the nurse sent me to the doc who sent off swab and put me on antibiotics which incicdently gave me thrush on my old tounge .. since this pic its got alot grosser and waaay sorer but i will spare you. like i said its expreemlu painful now and is pisssing me off – yes i am prone to infections – but whyyyyyy – i mean is it not like i have enough on ???? do i not have enough furking pain !!!! Rant over – im sure it will be ok in the end and i have my radiotherapy to look forward to on monday.

 

lots of people have wished me luck …. now if you wish someone luck you are hoping they do well… all i have to do is lie there ..

 

oh and randomly ladt night i discovered i only have one toncil lol, they must have taken out at time of surgery and not mentioned it..

 

anyways this is me signing off i am sure something needs painting or making or something lol

 

still smiling albeit wonky

fuckucancer

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