Ive been thinking – well inbetween upchucking in the tesco toilets –
Now dont get me wrong my mates have been ace – but some friends (read aquatentances) famility members have been especially nice, overly nice since my diagnosis, and you know what.. love me or hate me – i am ok with that.. but dont be nice coz you have read my blog or because i have sodding cancer – im damn sure i woudlnt – if i dont like someone i am not gonna like them more once they have cancer ! now i dont know how that makes me sound and i am not sure i care.
You know what i have some amazing friends literally all over the world – that a a bonus of being a military wife and before that a military child. I am going to share something with you that i didint write.
I think I am a good person. My parents are superstars and I am so proud that they have instilled such strong ethics in me and my siblings. Trouble is, my whole family seems to give, give, give and its very hard to find like-minded people in our lives.
Every now and again in your life you come across selfless people who are genuine and generous. I don’t mean generous in a monetary way, but rather in a kind way. My lovely friend, Mrs S, is one of those people.
I moved to the UK in 2002 with my first husband (who has since passed away). I was having a rough time, battling a bit of depression and experiencing homesickness in the worst possible way. I found it incredibly hard to make friends until I met Mrs S (then Miss S) at a temp job. Well, Miss S made me laugh and was kind to me and she helped me out in so many ways, more than even she probably knows.
My husband and I had shipped our cars to the UK (yes, insane) and it took a really long time for them to arrive and then there was a lengthy nightmare getting the darn things up to the UK’s safety standards so we could register them over there. We arrived in the UK in August and my car didn’t get on the road until January! A few days after getting my shiny new Nissan on the road I was driving to work and I lost all my gears – the drive shaft slipped out of the gearbox due to a surclip working loose. I was devastated. I rang Miss S in tears (who at that point had moved to Sheffield, with her then boyfriend [a mechanic], about 5 hours drive away from me). Lo and behold Miss S and her boyfriend turned up on my doorstep that evening. They had pretty much jumped in the car after my phone call. Mr I towed my car home and repaired it as best he could without the part (mind you he did a great job as when I got it to Nissan they couldn’t get the driveshaft out of the gearbox to replace the surclip J). What amazing friends to have! I have never forgotten that act of kindness nor any of the countless other acts of kindness that Miss S bestowed upon me.
Anyway, jump forward 11 years. Mrs S is now married to a Military Transport Driver. They move house every 3 years and Mr G (her husband) goes on tour for 4 months at a time every 16 months. They have two children – K who is 7 and D who just turned 2. Unfortunately Mrs S has been plagued by bad luck in the medical sense for a long time. During her pregnancy with K she suffered SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction – you can read more about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphysis_pubis_dysfunction) which, combined with a subatschnoid spinal cyst left her partially disabled. She has had to have 2 plates and 6 screws put in the front of her pelvis and recently underwent back surgery. On top of this, little Princess D has life threatening allergies to dairy and soy (as a mother of a toddler with life threatening allergies, I can attest to the challenges this brings to parents) and she is also a challenging child who does not adapt to change or new faces well. Everything has to be routine and so so for Princess D and this makes life that little bit harder for the family. Gorgeous little princess she is though! J
More recently, Mrs S discovered she had a T2 tumour on her tongue. She has had to have a feeding “peg” fitted so that she can feed herself via a tube directly to her stomach as she cannot eat or drink anything, including medication. She has just endured surgery on her tongue which involved removing part of her tongue plus 14 lymph nodes. The doctors took muscle from her left wrist to rebuild her tongue. Her tongue is healing well although she has some palsy in her face which causes one side of her mouth to droop. The plus is she is able to speak and be understood which is a fabulous outcome.
Unfortunately, of the 14 lymph nodes removed, 2 were affected by an aggressive cancer which has also affected some nerves in her face. The result: she needs 6 weeks of daily intensive radiotherapy and more than likely some chemo. The hospital is 100 miles away from her home and the burden of the cost of travelling to and from hospital plus care for Princess D and Mr K, not to mention how sick she is likely to get during treatment is unfathomable.
To top things off, Mr G suffered a prolapsed disc in his back and had to get carted off to hospital himself and her stairlift in the house broke down. I mean, seriously! C’mon! Give this family a break already!
I want to help Mrs S but there is very little I can do from Australia. I did organise a couple of cleaners to do a massive spring clean of her house, but that’s nothing. Her house smells pretty and looks pretty but it didn’t fix the stairlift, it didn’t help Mr G’s back, it hasn’t provided support and it sure as hell hasn’t kicked cancer’s butt, but it is a start.
So, I’m appealing to all of you wonderful, generous, selfless, like-minded people out there to help me help Mrs S and her family. A little or a lot –that’s up to you but every cent will count with this struggling family to aid in the costs of transportation and care during Mrs S’s fight of her life.
Can you help? http://www.gofundme.com/2ic1c8
Now i haven’t shared this looking for pennies i have done to so the sheer amazingness (not sure that’s even a word) of some people – and whilst i have struggled with some people reactions the “over nice” the “pitying looks” this … this well there are no words … ironic for a blog !!!
always smiling when i think of my amazing friends who whilst having theirown gigantic struggles still ask how i am and care and visa a versa.