So i didn’t post yesterday both because i had a relatively boring day but also because i was shattered and fell asleep early – i was snoring by 8.30 lol
I have sound myself feeling jealous and frustrated the past few days both with my voice and inability to eat, i was helping dish up the roast dinner today and burst into tears, typing it it almost sound childish – but its extremely frustrating you see everything you love and or like and just cant do it its the inability that gets you not the thing you cant have its the failing of your body!
So my boys hommmeeee, MIL had bought he almost a new wardrobe, and bless him he bought us all some gifts .. mine was a teal coloured wooden heart with a bird silhouette – which goes perfectly with our finished welsh dresser, G got a book mark and little miss d got a bag with a books of nursery rhymes in. perfect …
D has been attached to “Rahh Rahh” as she calls him since he got home she was so excited and just happy to see him – it was lovely to watch.
We knew once he was home we had to tell him we had to use the C word … and i was shitting myself – we had planned it for tomorrow but it seemed right so we did it tonight .. so i said .. have you heard of cancer ? yes mummy, some are bad and some have treatments (thank god i had told him that before and my child never forgets a thing EVER), yes, i say – well you know that bit of my tongue they took away well they tested it and it is Cancer … Oh he says, I tell him its ok because its the one where you have treatments and I show him the calender. he asks a few questions and we are done !! I don’t know what that panic is about.
I show him my jumper he wants one one without the swareee word !! so i suggested
“my mums kicking cancers butt” which he loved..
so thats my next project !
So after all this I am pretty shattered and know i have a busy day tmw – i have to try and get into the dentist asap so that he can “ready” me for radiotherapy – i worry its gonna cost a fortune but we shall see.
right thats me signing off lots of loves and wonky smiles