He’s home and of course no key ! On bloody crutches….. Confirmed slipped disk lots meds.

See I’m really angry about this.. I will explain.

When hi back started hurting I told him to rest it (as much as you can with a 2 year ) but no HE carried 2 chests of drawers upstairs AND painted one of them. Rightly or wrongly my anger is stronger that compassion, I sound terrible but I find myself thinking What about me!!! I am hopeful that these feelings will pass.

Today the padre was amazing he drive G to docs this morning…he popped in a few times to check on me and even kept Daisy occupied for twenty minutes…. The padre is a giant of a man he is pretty much cope height…. And large build I don’t meat fat by that his hand a HUGE…. I noticed this when he was holding Daisy.

Heather has been faaaab she’s helped when I’ve struggled with meds (they all need crushing or dissolving into water as they go down my Peg tube)

And here’s another example of me fucking things up with my mother….. They did come today but I think I have said,before Daisy will happily sit with dad but not her…. I think it’s too much eye contact or she simply doesn’t remember her.. Anywho while here before Daisy was home… Dad watched to. Than moved some drawers and watched TV again.. Mum did the kitchen. Which was a gReat help.. But after they left once Heather had arrived I text mum the conversation went like this .

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And I told her how annoyed I.was because I Wasn’t told and that she chose that over us in crisis.
But me n mum always butt heads and no doubt my name iz mud or she putting down to pain etc… But i did hang up on her coz i was angry, and thats a mortal sin. But I was being honest about how I felt….. So I don’t know if she may now pop in on way or not who knows.

As you see a bloody awful day all round and some how a cancer patient who can’t walk well and has use of 1 arm  and a person with lupus and a,mechanical heart valve, will be looking after Daisy ….wish us luck.

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